Apr 10
26
Funny Job Application Comments
Allegedly, these are actual statements written on job applications. Whether that’s true or not, I think they’ll make you smile. (I wonder how many of them got hired.)
• “I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet pogroms.”
• “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if every forget details.”
• “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
• “Wholly responsible for two failed financial institutions.”
• Reason for leaving last job: “Maturity leave.”
• “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
• “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
• “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
• “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
• Marital status: “Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
• “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
• Personal interests: “Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
• “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.”
• “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
• Marital status: “Often.” Children: “Various.”
• “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
• “Finished eighth in class of ten.”
• References: “None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
No related posts.
